You guys are probably wondering what the hell happened to me
Well ive been swamped with classwork and group meetings and stuff. I got a little disorganized and everything kind of just fell apart the last week. I maintained-ish my weight though, ive only gained back a couple pounds and i plan on getting back in the gym full time this week after my tests and practicals on tuesday and wednesday. Ill also be putting up a progress pic this saturday =]
I message her ( idk why,Its the first time ive talked to her since i left for NY) And she seemed pretty excited to talk to me(not a typical reaction). Then she kept saying things that implied her and her bf werent doing well and right before she left she said she was sorry about what she did to me and that she hopes we can hang out when i come back for the summer.
Im pretty sure id never go back to a relationship with her but i definitely feel like i just took a step backwards in getting over her. bluhhhh
My chef is seriously ruining my first semester for me. He makes cooking and the rushed atmosphere i love unfun, i havent enjoyed myself in a class since i got here and it sucks. Not to mention the people in my classes are all fucking imbeciles.
Everyone in my school is already getting ready for parties, all my friends are back home getting ready for my favorite bands show, and im sitting here in my dorm wishing i was back in the 219. I never thought id miss it as much as i do.
And not to mention i havent seen TWY in like 8 or 9 months, and i had a ticket to the show today, and if theres a time i need one of their shows its now.
I dont even know why, i didnt even realize it until i was full. I was REALLY craving a hamburger, so i ate one
and some fries
and some halibut
then about 5 hours later i ate some coconut beef curry
It was ridiculous, so i kicked my own ass in the gym
I bumped my usual 30 min treadmill workout to an hour, and went harder with my weights
I spent 2 and a half hours in the gym today, i feel great, but i realized something.
I love what im doing, i love the gym and i love the mindset im in. This is part of who i want to be for the rest of my life and eating like i did today isnt going to do any good. I hate that i did that and that i had to work harder for almost no results.( although some good things did happen in the gym, but thats another post)
We always say were “beginning our weight loss journey” Which has always been kind of strange to me, especially since those journeys usually last about 3 days and then become a journey we tried to go on. Which is why ive always tried to avoid using that word, but today was different. I was kicking ass at the gym, i could tell in the mirror in the weight room that i had lost weight, and a couple amazing things presented themselves today. I can truly see a future where the person i am today isnt even close to the person i imagine, and i see myself starting to become that person.For once I feel like im at the beginning of a journey, and it feels great.
I want a pizza so bad. Ive ordered one every friday since i got here, but im debating whether or not i should this friday. I feel like i deserve something but at the same time I dont want to ruin anything=\
But im not enjoying myself. These people dont understand me. I cant have those late night diner talks with them. I barely know these people and i just wish i was with my real friends. It took me so long to find people i felt comfortable around and as soon as i do i have to leave.
I feel like theres a part of myself missing, its awful.
Not to mention cheyannes life seems to be going great. Fuck her.
The reason I didn’t take a progress picture today is because i haven’t made any progress
My weight loss slowed/stopped and I’m guessing i haven’t lost more than .5 lbs this week.
But my lifestyle has to be about being proactive rather than reactive right?
So reactively went to the gym and got about a 20 minute run in before they kicked me out because they were closing ( i thought they closed at 1am but they actually close at 10pm =\)
And my post gym mood? I feel fucking great, i miss going to the gym every day and working my ass off, and the gym is the one place where you ALWAYS get what you put in and it ALWAYS pays off. I don’t know why I’ve ever had a hard time getting to the gym
I guess the lesson is: If you’re having trouble getting to the gym just go to a short run and you’ll get hooked.
Im gonna wake up at 9 to go in tomorrow.
Im so stoked.
OH AND ANOTHER THING
My “Real Friends” shirt was shipped yesterday
They’re a band from my hometown and the shirt i ordered is an XL
Which means i have to go down from my current XXL back down to XL to wear it.